a year ago.

october 06, 2009..

she asked me to open the window in her room. i could not open it, she wanted to see the sunlight, she wanted to see the sun shining coz she missed the world outside. she's patiently lying in her bed, i touched her toes, it was so cold and so pale. i looked at her,as if i was trying to read her mind, and then she raised her eyebrows.. she asked me why am i looking that way to her. i didn't answer. then, tears fall from my eyes.. i looked at the floor, and went to her. she told me, to stop crying coz she don't like seeing someone who is crying. i don't have any idea why i was acting like that..

hours passed. her doctor came to check her. she was so silent. she did not even answered me when i asked her if she's okey, she just nod and she thumbs up.

noon. around 12. when she asked me if where aunty elsa is, i asked her back if she wanted to talk with her, she said yes. during the call, she doesn't say anything... but she is already grasping for her breath.

at 3pm. the only thing i remembered was that she's shaking, she had already experience difficulty in breathing...

at6pm.. the doctor revived her. and i could still remember how much i tried to do my best, pumping the ambubag.

at 9pm. the doctor announced that she had expired. :(

that's still painful to remember until now..